The Five Things I Want For Christmas

I don't think I'm asking for much...

Dear Fellow Expat:

We’re in countdown mode here in the Republic for Christmas and the rest of the Holiday season. My wife has dressed up the dogs. And my daughter is still eyeing the tree the way I might eye ice cream after a bottle of wine.

I’m unsure what Santa will leave in my stocking tomorrow, but if he needs any last-minute ideas… I’m going to ask for a few contrarian presents.

As you’ll find, I’m simple… but a bit contrarian.

Present No. 1: My Daughter’s School to Start Two Hours Later

You know what I want… an old-fashioned TWO-HOUR morning delay from school.

We had these all the time in Maryland when I was a kid. Now, maybe the buses weren’t safe. But when my wife gets up at 6:20 a.m., the blinding bathroom is like a punch in the face instead of Folgers coffee.

Then, my daughter is up… which means the dogs are up… and I have to walk them.

So… just once - I’d appreciate a snowstorm around January 5 or 6, one that means the bathroom light goes on at 7:45 instead… and the dogs go …