How to Afford An Elf on the Shelf

My household has been invaded by a one-foot elf named Lily, and my rage towards it now kicks into high gear. Here's how one can afford such "blessings."

Dear Fellow Expat:

I dislike the Elf on the Shelf during the Holidays as much as the New York Yankees.

Both take up too much time and energy… and defeat me through the power of money.

Last year, my daughter cried because a girl in her class had an “Elf.”

So my wife immediately bought one of these Elves but didn’t know what to do with it.

We spent hours at night trying to figure out how the Elf should surprise our daughter each morning… Then, we spent who knows how much on glitter, marshmallows, and other things that made huge messes… because the Elf was up to mischief.

Oh no! Lily the Elf got into the flour and spilled it all over the kitchen.

Then, she put forks on her feet to make it look like she was using snow shoes…

“Oh, Joy!” Mom says.

“That Lily is so silly…” Amelia says.

“Okay, Dad, clean this up because we have to go to school…” they both say.

This year, my wife bought a package of things for the elf to do - but it wasn’t cheap.

While the magic is incredible, the sticker shock isn’t…