15 Comments
User's avatar
BearCough's avatar

Well done, sir! Another hilarious spin on the concepts I’m still working to wrap my head around.

Wendy E's avatar

Brilliant Garrett! You're hired!

rupert james philip morton's avatar

Really excellent piece and entertaining, but also tragically true. I have a cold burger somewhere if you are missing one. For now there are just so many places where markets could blow up one option is to sit on a very remote beach, Easter Island comes to mind, and disconnect from the internet; but where to leave the cash and in what currency?

Kirk Pixler's avatar

Garrett, as a frequent visitor to Basel in the 90's and early 2000's and as a loyal subscriber and follower of all things "Me and the Money Printer" I feel it necessary to inform you the Kantonspolizei Basel-Stadt is requesting I provide a formal letter outlining our "relationship".

Apparently someone in Basel (from the BIS?) is enquiring about you? Now I'm usually not one to take advantage of a possible huge windfall, but if I can persuade the Kantonspolizei Basel-Stadt you're a great guy who can "walk the walk" regarding worldly financial matters will you cut me in on some of that back pay - or a Rush concert ticket?

Maybe we can have a beer or three and some clams at Mr. Pickwick Pub to celebrate you first day of work?!?

Just asking. Ha!

Waku, Waku

Garrett Baldwin's avatar

Ha. That works for me.

Robert Neal's avatar

I love it, problem is you are most likely applying to a robot designed not to hire you.

I don’t think they really want anyone reading and understanding what they are saying.

Anthony Kurpakus's avatar

Gosh Garrett, we will miss you. I did notice under their "What we Offer" that they will pay a competitive salary (but no numbers given), relocation, and schooling for your daughter. What a Win-Win!! Following your carefully constructed cover letter, they would indeed be remiss in not hiring you if not just to keep you quiet.

The Whispering Candle's avatar

I laughed, I cried, I looked around for my vodka cocktail. Thanks Garrett. Have a great weekend.

billwho's avatar

GB - Please tell me that you received an automated reply back?

This genius by the way!

The Bobs's avatar

Send this to a staff person there so they can post it on the billboard in the lunchroom. I picture those dudes I appeared before sitting around the table st an SEC hearing

Jeff Page's avatar

LMAO and crying at the same time. Thank you Prof. Joel for your mentorship and friendship. Yes, the fine print matters most. It actually propelled me in getting paper through compliance. GB, this is a great one!

John Watkins's avatar

Basel is a Beautiful place…but you would not be happy with the job. That was very fun to read, although a bit scary….makes me miss the days when I could still have a shot of JD. Kind of a fun ride today…I end the month up nicely….not sure how it happened.

Greg Sullivan's avatar

Absolutely Love It!! :)))) Keep up the great work you provide to us all.

Michael McCrae's avatar

:-) I only found 2 "red marks" so you are doing better.

More importantly, when you get there, check out Restaurant Albanbrucke at Zurcherstrasse 146. An entirely better steak than Outback.